Monday, December 1, 2008

Loving too much...

I was crying my heart out since last night over this break up, geez! Can't accept the fact he's dumping me. Who wouldn't do that after all that I've done, right? I was hoping he'll changed his mind but unfortunately he didn't. He always emphasized how hurt he was and how stupid he thought he was. It hurts to hear him say he wanted to forget me and start a new life without me.

After all the begging and pleading I made, the urge of hurting myself set in. But my mom came in to the rescue. We talked about it. I told her my mistakes and that I don't want to let go of him. I repeatedly told her it was my mistake and I should make up for it. She advised me that we should talked about it and compromise. And I quote what she said...

"...Talk about it. Yes, it was your mistake but despite that, if he's still willing to accept you, hold on and go on with the relationship. But if he's not willing to accept the past, let go and move on. There's no point of holding on when he cannot accept it and doesn't love you anymore. You'll argue about it over and over again even until you'll get married. It's painful to accept but that's part of loving. You will get hurt in the process but if you really love someone, you'll endure the pain, forgive and forget, and love again. If he comes back, good for you; if not, then just accept it. Be brave! And didn't I tell you not to love too much?"

"...if he can't accept the past, he doesn't truly love you. Because if he does, he won't let go of you no matter what you've done and how painful it was."

Honestly, it was comforting to hear that from her. I didn't expect it thinking that she was insensitive, unapproachable, a nagger and biased. I've heard that advise from everyone, but it's just comforting and convincing hearing it from her. I never talked about my problems with her. After our conversation, I felt relieved though there's still pain but I'm trying to accept that we're over. Wait, is cool off the same as break up? Either way, I hope it's not final but I'm guessing it is.

I think I followed her advise not to love too much. But what happened? He even accused me for taking him for granted. Yeah right, I did feel too comfortable of his love. And because of that, I became the unfaithful gf and now we're over. Still I'm hoping he'll come back, but I think he won't since he wants to find his true love. As for him, I will always be the unfaithful gf but he will always be my one true love. Though I screwed up, huhu.

Haayz, gugma! Better luck next time, Crissy! Gosh, I'm still trying to hide the pain. SOB. T_T

*Photo by ~Xx-Eclise-Clarke-xX of deviantart.


jonaver said...

i guess your Mom is right..never love too much.. but even thouh you don't love too much as long as you loved him, it will still hurt the same.. that's what love is all about, being hurt..

don't worry, you'll move on.. not sooner but for sure you will, someday.

Anyway, I am inviting you to join my meme/contest, Beauty of Life's BRAIN PAIN.

It is not as hard as what the title could be, TRUST ME.

Hope to see you there!


benchiegrace said...

cris, unsa nahitabo? been reading your post...hope you and your Bf would patch things up..

Crissy said...

break up or cool off, whatever! a stupid mistake that ended up disastrously. hehe.

he just asked me awhile ago if we could work it out again. and i was like huwaat?!

SHIELA said...

so you're back together again? ay gugmang giatay :)

Crissy said...

^not yet.i don't want some pity. hehehe.