Saturday, January 3, 2009

7 Deadly Sins in a Relationship

I read this in my friendster bulletin board and I thought of reposting this here in my blog. This is by Eddie Corbano.

1. Jealousy

In my opinion jealousy is one of the most negative and destructive emotions there is. Never will positive come out of jealousy.

It results from fear of loss and tenure and is strictly ego-based. It’s one of the greatest threats to a relationship.
A jealous partner can truly diminish your quality of life, and I’ve seen couples splitting up because of this, despite the fact that they love each other.

Overcoming jealousy is not so easy, but it must start at its roots. The only way is to work on your self-love, and to increase trust in your relationship. That is something you have to accomplish together.

2. Clinging

Clinging is clearly another manifestation of the fear of loss. It is the weaker “brother” of jealousy and manifests itself through different ways, seemingly through repeated reassurances of love.
You are convinced that you don’t deserve your partner, and cling to them verbally or literally. This is very often overwhelming, and will make the partner feel trapped.

Persons coming from a fresh, difficult break up or divorce very often tend to cling in their new relationships.

3. Lack of Respect and Inattentiveness

Every fulfilling relationship is based on mutual respect. Without respect there will be conflicts or even abuse.

Inattentiveness is a slow process, which can manifest after years in a relationship. This is taking the partner for granted, not making any efforts to maintain the relationship.

4. Wrong Ideas of a Relationship

What do you expect from a relationship, from your partner? Do you want to fulfill your childhood dream of the prince riding on the white horse, who will make all your problems go away at once?
Do you believe that a relationship is always the endless love of which songs and poems are singing about? Everything will work out on its own, if only you love enough?

If you believe all of this, then your relationship will fail. To know that you have to work in your relationship every day for your happiness is the key to success.

5. Having too high Expectations

Having too high expectations of a relationship right from the start will cause many problems. Not every man/girl is the love of your life and not every relationship is meant to be.

Know exactly what you are looking for in a partner, but don’t set the bar too high.Unrealistic expectations will eventually lead to self-induced discontent.

6. Losing Communication

Losing communication in a relationship is a silent killer. You only detect it when it’s almost too late. This is especially a problem in long term relationships of many years.There are many ways to fight this. If you have nothing to talk about, then the solution is, of course, to create new mutual interests you could have a discussion about.

If you do not have the time for long conversations, then set a fixed day in the week with one hour, where you really talk with each other (don’t forget to turn off the TV).

Communication is the key.

7. Lost in Routine

Ever been in a relationship where everything starts to get boring, because it’s always the same? The same talk, the same places you go, even the sex is always the same.

Well, the solution for this is obvious: break free! Create new opportunities, go to different places, meet new people, try something crazy together. The possibilities are endless, you just have to do it together.

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