I just can't get to ignore the feeling of being sorry for having said mean words to him the last time we texted. Indeed, I tend to burst out my emotions and didn't even think about the consequence of it. I just had the urged to said it with conviction even though I really don't mean it that way. Confusing? Me too. I just said whatever I want to say because it felt relieving that way. But afterwards, I felt sorry. And I know I might have hurt him badly. I'm just still hurting that's why I was mean to him thinking that he's just being nice and sweet just to lead me on - a sort of ego tripping on his part. And now, I wanted to apologize and take back what I said since perhaps he's being nice was sincere. But it's kinda hard this time, since he already said he won't talk to me anymore. He might be ignoring me this time for good. That's sad. I guess, it's better this way. Since it's still quite hard for me to move on with us still talking.
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